Hello, and welcome. I'm Meera, though most people call me Kali. I'm a licensed therapist in California and a professor at the University of San Francisco, and over the past decade my work has moved between the therapy room, the classroom, and research. I work with couples, individuals, and families, and I'm really glad you found your way here.
Many couples come to me caught in the same painful argument again and again, each person ending up feeling alone even while sitting in the same room. After enough rounds of that, it's easy to wonder whether the relationship can ever feel close again. Beneath the cycle, though, there are usually two people trying to protect something tender in themselves, and once we slow down enough to see what is really driving it, they can begin to reach for each other again.
Those protective patterns often take shape long before a relationship begins, which is why so much of my work also happens one on one. Many of the people I see individually are high-achieving adults who have spent years living up to expectations, both their own and the ones they grew up with. From the outside their lives look put together, yet underneath there is often a deep tiredness and a loneliness they find hard to put into words. A lot of my clients are women of color or children of immigrants, and they come in carrying stories that don't always fit neatly under a label like anxiety or trauma, even when those are part of what's going on.
The way I understand it, each of us has different parts inside. Some of those parts work very hard to keep us safe, like the one that keeps pushing, the one that holds everything together, or the one that pulls away before anyone gets too close. They usually took on these jobs early in life, often in response to pain that never had the chance to heal, and they've been doing them faithfully ever since. When they're still in charge years later, they can leave you anxious, worn down, or reacting in ways that feel much bigger than the moment in front of you. None of this means something is wrong with you. Those parts are protecting you in the only way they've known, and with care they can learn that it's safe to rest. As they do, people often find they have more room for the ones they love as well.
My approach is grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS), a gentle and respectful way of getting to know those inner parts, and I bring in EMDR and the Flash Technique, attachment-focused therapy, MBCT, and somatic and mindfulness practices depending on what each person needs. Together we work with the nervous system roots of anxiety, depression, complex trauma, PTSD, and relationship patterns. Over time you build ways to steady yourself, old beliefs begin to loosen their grip, and you find you can respond to life instead of simply reacting to it. Many of my clients describe this as finally stepping out of survival mode and into a quieter trust in themselves.
Teaching future therapists at USF keeps me close to the research and reminds me how much care this work deserves. I studied at UC Davis and earned my master's at Santa Clara University, so it feels meaningful to now have my practice just steps from that same campus.
If you're used to handling everything on your own, reaching out may feel uncomfortable, and that hesitation is completely understandable. In our sessions you can speak openly without needing to have it all figured out, and we'll move at a pace that feels right to you. I meet with clients in my Santa Clara office and online, and if you'd like to see whether we're a good fit, I offer a free consultation.
You've been carrying so much on your own for a long time, and you don't have to keep doing it alone.